A cigarette case in a shirt pocket always blocks a bullet.
A single match can brighten any room, no matter the size.
All computer disks work in all computers, regardless of operating system.
All single women have cats.
Anyone can land a plane, provided someone in the control tower talks you through it.
Bullets are unable to penetrate water.
Characters shot with guns will fly backward, or upward and backward, through the air, the laws of physics not-withstanding.
Dinosaurs only eat ugly and/or immoral people.
During emotional confrontations, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, stand behind them and talk to their back.
Explosions in space make noise.
I think that should be it for now...
Absence abates a moderate passion and intensifies a great one - as the wind blows out a candle but fans fire into flame.
- François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
- Henry Alfred Kissinger
Poker is a game of people... It's not the hand I hold, it's the people that I play with. — Amarillo Slim
Luck favours the backbone, not the wishbone. — Doyle Brunson
Whether he likes it or not, a man's character is stripped bare at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life . — Anthony Holden
There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker... Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kindhearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a 'flush'. It is enough to make one ashamed of one's species. — Mark Twain
Be a tail to lions rather than a head to jackals.
If silence be good for the wise, how much better for fools.
A legal decision depends not on the teacher's age, but on the force of his argument.
Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.
All your friends have an @ in their names.
At the mall, you see someone of the opposite sex that you'd like to meet and your first thought is to IM her.
At work, the boss constantly reminds you that the word i should be capitalized.
The last girl you picked up was a GIF.
Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
When everyone else goes to bed, you sneak in to your computer.
When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
When someone asks, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!"
You beg your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
You consider being called a "newbie" a major insult.
You don't have a bookmark list, you have a database.
You experience "withdrawal" after not being online for six hours.
You fall asleep, but instead of dreams, you get IMs.
You go online in the morning before you go for coffee.
You go to personal web sites just to see their links page.
You keep more than four browser windows open at the same time.
You log off and the message begins with, "You were on for 3 days, 15 hours…"
You look at an annoying person off-line and wish that you had an "Ignore" button.
ok.... I think I'll stop there cause I could go on and on...
Oh and most of the above apply to me.
The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something and tell what it saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, and thousands can think for one who can see. To see clearly is poetry, philosophy, and religion all in one.
- Eudora Welty, 1909 - 2001
We talk on principle, but we act on interest.
- Walter Savage Landor, 1775 - 1864
I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families, sometimes into no family at all. When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much.
- Russell Baker
"Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"
a sentence should begin with a capital letter and end with punctuation
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
Avoid commas, that are not necessary, and don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
Avoid the use of dyed-in-the-wool cliches like the plague; they are old hat.
Be more or less specific.
Correct speling is esential.
Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
Don't never use no double negatives.
Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Good writers do not use one verb tense in one part of a sentence, and then have switched to a different tense in the next.
Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Enjoy...
3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV league
From Al Lowe.....
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
- Georg Christopher Lichtenberg, 1742 - 1799
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
- Will Rogers, 1879 - 1935
